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Boys play with dolls will become mothers, girls play with cars will become tomboys? Do toys have to be gendered?

Posting time:2022-10-06 00:46:36

Boys play with dolls will become mothers, girls play with cars will become tomboys? Do toys have to be gendered?

Toys are "books without words" for children to grow up. In general cognition, parents will buy toys such as Ultraman and cars for boys, and toys such as dolls for girls. But there are also some boys who like plush toys, like to play house wine, and some girls who like cars and dinosaurs. This situation will always cause some parents to worry. Girls (boys) should play with girls' (boys) toys, what does it mean to always play with boys' (girls) toys? Some parents even worry that their daughters will become tomboys when they like to play with cars, or that boys who always play with Barbie dolls will be more "mother". I can understand that parents have such concerns, but we also have to look at these things rationally. According to an experiment conducted by the University of Kent and the University of Weston, children who can accept typical heterosexual toys will have more inclusive personalities, and children who accept typical heterosexual toys are actually better able to establish gender in the process of play. identify.

I. What is Gender Identity

Gender identity refers to a person’s deeply felt gender based on personal experience. Children over the age of 3 will gradually realize that boys grow up to become men and girls grow up to become women. As far as the life experience of bathing is concerned, if the same-sex parents often take their children to bathe, it will be easier for the children to establish a sense of identity with their own gender, the children's psychological cognition and physiological cognition will be more consistent, and boys will Naturally wanting to be a boy, girls also have the "I want to grow up to be a girl" thought. However, if the child is still taken by the opposite-sex parent to take a bath, or take the child to private places such as the opposite-sex toilet and public changing room, the child's gender identity may deviate, and the child will feel that the opposite sex is better, and he wants to become opposite sex. The same is true of many parents' concerns about their child's toy choices, worrying that their child's play with gender-neutral toys may have an impact on gender identity or character development. Concerns are understandable, but we also need to look at other factors that affect gender, such as the external environment and the importance of parental guidance.

Second, the choice of gender-based toys will limit children's development

Children's development is based on direct perception and in-depth experience, rich and diverse games The environment is conducive to them reducing gender stereotypes, which is of great benefit to children's future development. Gender stereotypes are what parents often say: "Boys should play with boys' toys, and girls should play with girls' toys." Adult stereotypes directly influence or determine children's toy choices and purchases. Two US universities have done a study of the impact of different toys on girls' future careers, and the results show that the output of gender stereotypes can limit children's development. The results also showed that girls who played with Barbie dolls generally believed that there were fewer occupations available in the future, but boys could participate in any occupation; girls who played with potato head dolls believed that they were no different from boys. The tolerance of adults to children playing with toys of the opposite sex will directly affect the child's judgment and character development. Just like a class of children in a kindergarten, there will always be a small number of children who have different preferences for toys: some boys have a general and obvious preference for boys’ toys, some boys are also more interested in girls’ toys, and some girls is also like this. This situation is actually conducive to the development of children, they can continue to grow in rich experiences. If the child lives in an inclusive environment and can accept himself or others playing with toys of the opposite sex, it is conducive to the inclusive development of the child. When they grow up, their characters will be more peaceful and tolerant.

Three, the gender identity of children requires parents to make efforts in many aspects

Although most of the time parents always hope that their children will develop naturally, and hope that "boys are more manly" , girls are more tender" and have better gender traits, but these also require many efforts from parents. 1. Always lead by example. Compared with Ultraman toys and pistols, the role of a father can actually bring the boy's "manly" experience and desire. When the father leads the children to play and live more, the boy will perceive and experience the unique qualities that belong to the male in the father, observe the objects that the father likes, and then imitate and learn. In the process of establishing gender identity, same-sex parents should spend more time with their children, especially by allowing them to spend more time with same-sex immediate parents, thereby enhancing their sense of gender identity. 2. Timely adjustment of the surrounding environment can properly adjust the child's social environment. For example, consider children's interests and lead them to participate in some same-sex social activities or outdoor activities to enhance children's awareness of society. For example, boys are encouraged to play football and girls to dance. You can also adjust your child's physical environment appropriately. Provide the child with some rich toys, let him choose and experience by himself, and guide according to the child's own situation. Just as "there are no two identical leaves in the world", each child is so unique. Parents should not limit children's toy choices by gender. After all, childhood is only once, and what parents have to do is to accompany and guide them, not to help them make decisions. Only by grasping the premise that does not affect the development of children's gender cognition, and properly releasing children, can children go wider, farther, and more firmly!

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