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This kind of common school bullying is right next to the child, but it is easily ignored by teachers and parents

Posting time:2023-01-31 14:04:26

This kind of common school bullying is right next to the child, but it is easily ignored by teachers and parents

In most people's cognition, "school bullying" is limited to physical harm. In fact, sometimes verbal bullying can hurt children far more than that. In November last year, 15-year-old child star Shao Yibu suffered serious mental damage because of her classmates slandering and verbal attacks. Under all the pain, she chose to jump from the 6th floor in order to escape. Fortunately, during her fall, she was briefly caught by a cable before falling to the ground. This gave her hope of surviving. After three and a half months of treatment, Shao Yibu escaped and saved his life. Because verbal bullying is relatively subtle, many parents and teachers mistake it for a joke, so they do not interfere. However, this kind of neglect by parents and teachers may cause the bully to intensify, and then make the child suffer from verbal bullying for a long time, causing serious mental harm to the child. What is verbal bullying? What is a joke? How to distinguish between joking and bullying? How can parents teach their children how to deal with verbal bullying?

What is Verbal Bullying? What is a joke?

Verbal bullying usually refers to the use of sarcasm, ridicule, sarcasm, abuse and other language by the bully to directly or indirectly attack others, causing damage to the reputation and dignity of others, and then causing others to feel embarrassed, angry, frustrated, etc. . In psychology, a joke is called a game joke. In order to create a pleasant atmosphere for everyone, the expressor uses a kind tone and humorous language to close the relationship between people. At this time, the person being joked will not feel distressed, but will also be happy because of the joke. As the saying goes: "The speaker has no intention, the listener has intention." The biggest difference between verbal bullying and joking lies in the understanding and feelings of the listener. Of course, it is no problem for people with certain cognitive ability to distinguish whether the other party's words are offensive or not. But for younger children, it's not always possible to tell the difference. Studies have shown that joke behavior, for younger children, mostly only see the negative side of jokes. Only older children see the positive side of jokes. It can be seen that the intention of joking and verbal bullying is highly subjective. And the feelings they bring to children are very different.

How to distinguish between joking and bullying?

In my country's latest revision of the "Law of the People's Republic of China on the Protection of Minors", there is such a provision: "Student bullying refers to that which occurs between students, one party deliberately or maliciously implements it through physical, language and network means. Bullying, insulting, causing personal injury, property loss, or mental damage to the other party.” From the regulations, we can see that the perpetrator of bullying is knowing that his behavior will cause harm to the other party, but he does it intentionally. And the person who jokes, subjectively does not want to bring pain to the other party. Children who make jokes do it more with a playful and curious mind. There is also a situation where some children originally had a joking mentality and had no malicious intentions. However, when the other party clearly shows resistance, the joking child still does not stop. At this time, the behavior changes from unintentional to intentional, and may eventually develop into bullying. For example, when they see a fat classmate, some children will use insulting language to call each other nicknames and deliberately call them "fat pigs". This behavior is bullying. And among some classmates who have a good relationship, they will call their fatter friends "national treasures". When the other party does not express objection and is willing to accept it, this is a joke. But when the other party expresses that he doesn't like being called that, and the classmate still calls him that way on purpose, then this kind of behavior may develop into bullying.

How can parents teach their children how to deal with verbal bullying?

When some parents learn that their children are being bullied, they often scold their children: "You won't scold them back? Why is it so useless!" This approach not only fails to help the children solve the problem, but also makes the children I think it's useless to tell the parents, and the children will no longer want to tell the parents if they encounter similar situations in the future. So, when children encounter verbal bullying, how can parents guide their children to deal with it correctly? Here are three methods for you. The first method: calm and ignore the method. We can suggest that when someone deliberately attacks him with words, if you don't know how to deal with it, you can try to ignore the other person's words directly. Ask your child not to look scared, try to stay calm, pretend that the other person's words aren't hurting him, and walk away naturally. Of course, don't forget to tell your children, tell your parents or teachers what happened afterward, and ask for help from adults. The second method: humorous coping. This method is suitable for children who are more resourceful and sensitive. When the child responds to the other party in a humorous way, it can let the other party feel that his attack not only fails to achieve the effect he wants, but also may make himself boring and stop attacking. Here are a few useful humorous response sentences. If the other party says to the child: "Go away", the child can respond: "I can't, please show me!"; If the other party says the child is "sick", we can teach the child to reply: "It seems that he was You are infected"; when the other party says that the child is too fat, the child can respond: "Please don't ignore my height and connotation because of my width!" The third method: direct expression. We can also encourage children to be brave in the face of verbal bullying: "It's not funny because it makes me feel disrespected, please don't say this to me again!" At the same time, we also need to Tell the child that in the process of direct expression, do not add some language that makes the other party feel threatened or provocative, so as not to cause the other party to attack more strongly. Finally, I would like to remind parents that, for school bullying, prevention is far more effective than dealing with it afterwards. In order to effectively prevent school bullying, parents can usually tell their children some relevant knowledge, or they can simulate the school bullying scene with their children at home. Let children learn to say "no" to school bullying both in terms of awareness and action!

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