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The more timid the child is, the more useless encouragement is, this will make the child more courageous

Posting time:2022-12-02 08:37:58

The more timid the child is, the more useless encouragement is, this will make the child more courageous

Do you have such a child around you, when you see strangers, you hide behind your family; you never dare to raise your hand to speak in class; when you see children playing together, you obviously want to join, but don't dare to go over... Parents of such children usually think that their children are timid, afraid of this and that, and have no future, and are very worried about it. Is this really the case? Today, I'm going to talk to you about the topic of timidity in children.

Does a child's fearful behavior mean the child is a "coward"?

Usually, we all think that the child shows fear and fear, which means that the child is timid. In fact, fear and fear are just a manifestation of cowardice. The child will feel scared, indicating that the child has grown up and knows how to avoid danger. As the saying goes: "Those who don't know are fearless." When children are still relatively young, due to their weak cognitive ability, he does not yet know that some things are dangerous, and coupled with strong curiosity, they will continue to explore new things. But as the child grows older, his cognitive abilities also become stronger. At this time, the child will have a new understanding of things, and also begin to realize the danger of certain things. For example, when Liangliang was in kindergarten, he liked dogs very much. If you see someone leading a dog from a distance on the road, they will chase after them and play with them. However, when Liangliang was in elementary school, he became afraid of dogs. As soon as he saw a dog approaching him, he would immediately run back to avoid it. This is because he began to realize that dogs can bite. Therefore, the child is afraid and fearful, which means that the child has grown up, can predict the degree of danger of things, and learn to avoid danger in a timely manner. At this time, parents must not see the child's expression of fear, and immediately label him a "coward". Fear is actually an emotion that everyone has. Children at different stages will be afraid of different things. Under normal circumstances, most of a child's fears will gradually dissipate with age and cognition. But when a child is labelled "timid" by a parent, the child will identify from the heart that he is as timid as the parent said, and will then show more and more timid behavior.

What are children at different stages afraid of?

As we mentioned earlier, fear is a human emotion. For children at different stages, the things they fear are different. There are 5 types of fears, depending on what causes them. The first: instinctual fear. Parents who have cared for small babies will find that babies in infancy are often scared to cry by high-pitched sounds. The baby's initial fear comes from the body's instinctive response. Generally, it is caused by stimuli such as hearing, skin sense, and body sense. The second: fear caused by perceptual experience. Babies around 4 months begin to experience fears associated with perceptual development. For example, some children originally liked to wash their hair and take a bath. However, during a hair wash, the mother accidentally dripped water into the baby's eyes, and the baby began to cry after being stimulated. Since then, the little one has shown fear of washing his hair. This fear is caused by the unpleasant sensory experience of the baby. The third: fear of strangers. By the age of 6 months, most of the children have formed a relatively stable attachment relationship with their families. At this time, the child will begin to show fear of life. Under normal circumstances, when the child is held by the family, the fear of life is relatively less intense. But when the family is not around, the child will show obvious fear of life. Fourth: Predictive fear. Children around the age of 2 begin to have predictive fears due to the development of their imaginations. For example, children start to be afraid of dogs, bad people, monsters, etc. Fifth: Fear caused by stress. Stress can cause anxiety and fear. In life, not only adults will be stressed, but children will also experience stress when they do not meet the expectations of adults or themselves in life and study.

How can I help my child deal with fears?

When many parents see their child expressing fear about something, they want to help their child overcome their fear by encouraging them. They will say to their children, "What's there to be afraid of. You can see that other children can do it, and I believe you can do it too. Come on!" Feelings of inferiority. It can be seen that when the child shows fear, the wrong way of handling the parent will not only not make the child brave, but will lead the child to develop in a more and more timid direction.

So, how can parents help their children deal with fears?

At this time, we can try a method commonly used in psychology-behavioral fading method, which can effectively help children eliminate fear in their hearts. American psychologist Jones successfully used this method to help a two-year-old child eliminate the fear of hairy animals. Let's see how Jones uses this method. To help the child overcome his fear of furry animals, Jones shows the child a rabbit every time the child is having a good time with the little ones. At first it was shown to the children from a distance. Then, slowly, day by day, bring the rabbit closer to the child. Although at first the child will still show a fear of rabbits. But as the number of exercises increased, the child's fear of rabbits weakened day by day. By the 45th time, he was able to hold the rabbit in his arms and stroke it. The timidity of children, some may be born, and some may be caused by the wrong parenting methods of adults. But no matter how a child's cowardice is formed, parents should not easily label their children "cowards". Don't try to use encouraging words to make children brave, but help children gradually overcome their fears through positive and step-by-step guidance.

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